Holidays + busy moms = major stress. "All you have to do is walk through a store around the holidays and you can easily spot the frazzled moms," says Alana Morales, mommy blogger and author of the book 'Domestically Challenged'. "The holidays are about people and relationships, and if moms are too busy to enjoy that part of it, they'll be stressed and maybe even resentful," says Morales.So how do we get back to what really matters? By trimming the fat. "The key is to recognize those activities that energize, motivate, and please us, and to delete or change those activities that irritate, disappoint, and anger us," says stress and wellness specialist, Beverly Beuermann-King, of Little Britain, Ontario.
So take back your holidays. Trade the obligations, responsibilities, and must-do's that weigh you down in favour of the would-love-tos, wish-I-coulds and we'll-always-remembers that you know you'll cherish for the rest of your life. Here are 20 ways to do it.
1. Reduce your expectations. "I try to remember it's not about how many from-scratch cookies I've made, or how many presents are under the tree. It's about family and creating memories," says Morales.
2. "Slice your to-do list in half," advises Dr. Shoshana Bennet, a clinical psychologist based in California. New mums can be particularly stressed by a desire to make everything perfect for baby's first holiday season, says the expert on post-partum depression. Cut yourself some slack so you don't burn out.
3. "Set healthy boundaries," says Bennet. "Only accept the invitations that are most important to you." Your new baby can get overwhelmed by too many new faces, places and situations, too, FYI.
4. Get eight hours of sleep per night.
5. Eat lots of healthy snacks. The holidays can be filled with plenty of cooking, baking and food shopping. Resist the temptation to carb-load or fill up on decadent sweets. The resulting sugar highs and lows will drain you. Keep energy and mood levels on an even keel with nutritious fruits and veggies, nuts and whole grain bread.
6. "Simplify," says Beuermann-King. Buy UNICEF cards instead of crafting your own. Have three sides instead of five. And "Don't spend all day cleaning up from the holiday feast. Use paper plates." (Eco-tip: Or compostable bamboo or corn-based ones!)
7. Turn Christmas dinner into an altruistic event for the whole family by volunteering at a soup kitchen, suggests corporate trainer Marlene Caroselli of Rochester, NY. Volunteer work feeds the soul. (If you're a sucker for an old-school family feast, keep in mind many community organizations host their holiday dinners early in the week. You can volunteer without sacrificing your traditional plans.)
8. Start your shopping early. The more you postpone it, the more you'll spend as you start running out of shopping time!
9. Practice breathing exercises when you're about to lose it in the mall parking lot.
10. Buy a great magazine and devour it with a sit-down latte between errands.
11. Avoid over-programming. "Ask yourself: 'Is this holiday time for relaxation, celebration or relationship renewal?' " advises Beuermann-King. "When you know what your overriding goals are, choose activities that meet your particular goals." Nix the rest.
12. "Ask for help. Get support and assistance from those around you," says Beuermann-King. Delegate chores and you'll cut your stress tremendously.
13. Don't blow off your workouts. Exercise is a proven stress buster and releases feel-good endorphins.
14. Meet your best gal pal(s) for lunch and a movie.
15. Touch base with your teen. Teens feel most comfortable talking side-to-side, as when you're driving and they're riding shotgun. Just giving them a lift somewhere is a great opportunity for one-on-one time.
16. "Don't abuse your wallet," says Beuermann-King. "Going into debt just adds to your stress load. Gifts don't have to be elaborate or expensive in order to be appreciated."
17. Go with the flow. Don't schedule family time down to the hour. You may want to go sledding or just walk along the frozen beach with digital cameras in hand.
18. Factor in a couple do-nothing days before your return to the office.
19. Embrace your family's quirks. The best holiday plans are the ones that work for you. If a big family get-together makes you feel renewed and loved, go for it. But if not, don't let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with taking off on an overnight water-park package with the kids, or just hunkering down at home with the Wii, 'Guitar Hero' and 'Star Trek' DVDs for a family geek fest!
20. Practice mindfulness. Go outside. Breathe deeply and absorb the sights, sounds and smell of winter. Whatever you think you "should" be doing isn't as important as this cleansing, renewing moment – fleeting though it may be!
So take back your holidays. Trade the obligations, responsibilities, and must-do's that weigh you down in favour of the would-love-tos, wish-I-coulds and we'll-always-remembers that you know you'll cherish for the rest of your life. Here are 20 ways to do it.
1. Reduce your expectations. "I try to remember it's not about how many from-scratch cookies I've made, or how many presents are under the tree. It's about family and creating memories," says Morales.
2. "Slice your to-do list in half," advises Dr. Shoshana Bennet, a clinical psychologist based in California. New mums can be particularly stressed by a desire to make everything perfect for baby's first holiday season, says the expert on post-partum depression. Cut yourself some slack so you don't burn out.
3. "Set healthy boundaries," says Bennet. "Only accept the invitations that are most important to you." Your new baby can get overwhelmed by too many new faces, places and situations, too, FYI.
4. Get eight hours of sleep per night.
5. Eat lots of healthy snacks. The holidays can be filled with plenty of cooking, baking and food shopping. Resist the temptation to carb-load or fill up on decadent sweets. The resulting sugar highs and lows will drain you. Keep energy and mood levels on an even keel with nutritious fruits and veggies, nuts and whole grain bread.
6. "Simplify," says Beuermann-King. Buy UNICEF cards instead of crafting your own. Have three sides instead of five. And "Don't spend all day cleaning up from the holiday feast. Use paper plates." (Eco-tip: Or compostable bamboo or corn-based ones!)
7. Turn Christmas dinner into an altruistic event for the whole family by volunteering at a soup kitchen, suggests corporate trainer Marlene Caroselli of Rochester, NY. Volunteer work feeds the soul. (If you're a sucker for an old-school family feast, keep in mind many community organizations host their holiday dinners early in the week. You can volunteer without sacrificing your traditional plans.)
8. Start your shopping early. The more you postpone it, the more you'll spend as you start running out of shopping time!
9. Practice breathing exercises when you're about to lose it in the mall parking lot.
10. Buy a great magazine and devour it with a sit-down latte between errands.
11. Avoid over-programming. "Ask yourself: 'Is this holiday time for relaxation, celebration or relationship renewal?' " advises Beuermann-King. "When you know what your overriding goals are, choose activities that meet your particular goals." Nix the rest.
12. "Ask for help. Get support and assistance from those around you," says Beuermann-King. Delegate chores and you'll cut your stress tremendously.
13. Don't blow off your workouts. Exercise is a proven stress buster and releases feel-good endorphins.
14. Meet your best gal pal(s) for lunch and a movie.
15. Touch base with your teen. Teens feel most comfortable talking side-to-side, as when you're driving and they're riding shotgun. Just giving them a lift somewhere is a great opportunity for one-on-one time.
16. "Don't abuse your wallet," says Beuermann-King. "Going into debt just adds to your stress load. Gifts don't have to be elaborate or expensive in order to be appreciated."
17. Go with the flow. Don't schedule family time down to the hour. You may want to go sledding or just walk along the frozen beach with digital cameras in hand.
18. Factor in a couple do-nothing days before your return to the office.
19. Embrace your family's quirks. The best holiday plans are the ones that work for you. If a big family get-together makes you feel renewed and loved, go for it. But if not, don't let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with taking off on an overnight water-park package with the kids, or just hunkering down at home with the Wii, 'Guitar Hero' and 'Star Trek' DVDs for a family geek fest!
20. Practice mindfulness. Go outside. Breathe deeply and absorb the sights, sounds and smell of winter. Whatever you think you "should" be doing isn't as important as this cleansing, renewing moment – fleeting though it may be!
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